It's my new acronym. Got Her Milk? nope. Going Half-Mental? no. (ok, that one sorta works.) Get Hot Mustard? nuh-uh

God Help Me. 

This is my response to the plethora of FML posts I see. For those of you who don't know, FML stands for *eff* my life. It's supposed to be about the everyday crappy things that happen. Here's an excerpt from the site: "Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML" (I gave you an excerpt so that those of you who have a problem with profanity or crudeness don't have to go there to understand what I'm talking about. Good blogger etiquette, however, is to put a link to the site for those who do want to look further.)

I realized today that, most of the time, when people write "FML" I want to write "FWP" on their post. [First World Problems - another meme that pokes fun of how we get upset about things like our iPhones not working or our favorite Keurig coffee being out of stock.] 

I also realized that I catch myself thinking "FML" often, but then, out of ...well, guilt, I change it to "God help me." This started as simply a replacement that didn't make me feel so guilty. {"FML? Really? I may have 5 crazy kids, but they're all healthy! I may have 12-year olds disrespect me on a daily hourly basis, but I have a job!" in case you wanted a peek inside my head} But, one day, it changed. I found myself saying, "God help me... literally." It became a sort of prayer. Maybe not the most reverent, but often quite heartfelt. 

So, I'm going to start using GHM on Facebook and such. Sometimes you might be able to use either God Help Me or Going Half-Mental, but that's okay. Here's a few examples:

3/5 kids crying loudly in the car. No place to stop for the next 30 minutes. GHM.
2-year old found my toothpaste and painted the new couch. GHM.
30 7th graders. Full Moon. Friday before 3-day weekend. GHM. 
All 5 kids sick with the flu. I only have 2 barf buckets. GHM. 

Ok, maybe you can always use either one and it will work, but I guess that's the point. When I'm losing my mind, the only thing I can do is say, "God help me!" 

What scenario could you write GHM on?


Sarah--Well Rounded Birth Prep said...

Yes, all of that. I totally get it. Or you get me. Or both.

AmyWat said...

I love I free to use? I'd love to see the questions fly....I will direct them to your blog.

K Newman said...

Sarah - definitely both.

Amy - of course! let's make it a "thing"! ;)

Mommy Joys said...

LOL! This is awesome! One of my favorite prayers was taught me by my wise mother-in-law, who has 9 children.
"Help, Lord!"
I use it frequently these days!

By the way, I just discovered your blog today, and I'm really enjoying it!

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