A Run with One Sock

On the level of circumstances and events, today really sucked. I had a running late, stressful morning - I'm going to invent breastpump pieces that are not clear so that I don't keep "losing" them! Then, my sub didn't show up on time, so I had to deal with students who knew a sub was coming, and I didn't get to my meeting on time. The meeting had a few rude uptight strong personalities and required some deep breaths and tongue-biting on my part. The second part of the meeting was a bit discouraging; it was hard to remember that feeling of I-could-change-the-world that every teacher starts out with. After work, dinner took a long time to get started, and the sun was down, but I hadn't been able to get out for my run yet. I couldn't find my ipod or socks, couldn't make any music app work on my phone, so I put on my son's socks, resigned myself to silence and went out. The kids didn't like dinner, and now I have a baby with a fever.

However, I am learning something that my mother will be so glad to know. My day is not based on what happens to me. My day is not based on how others treat me. My day is based on my reactions to those things. When I take a deep breath and realize that a co-worker's problem is not my problem, that she may be saying the things she's saying out of insecurity... or maybe ignorance, but either way, I can choose to move past the comments and get my job done. No matter what NCLB requires of me, I can choose to focus my efforts on reaching kids. Even though I had to stop running halfway through, take off the stupid, too-small sock, and run with one sockless foot, I finished my run (and faster than normal!). The kids may not have enjoyed dinner, but hubby and I loved it. And, the baby has a fever, but I have advil, and will take her to the chiropractor tomorrow, the pediatrician if necessary. Even better, as part of our budget changes this year, we have money set aside each month for unexpected co-pays.

Yet, with all that happened, I am sitting down at my computer, feeling relatively content. Things have not been well today. Several things have gone wrong, in fact. But, I'm doing fine. This may seem ordinary to you. For me, it's somewhat extraordinary. I have been a slave to my emotions for far too long. Not too long ago, a day like today would have me ditching my run, yelling at the kids, and running to McDonald's for ice cream and cookies after bedtime. What's changed? Really only one thing: my thoughts. I realized at the end of my last pregnancy, and especially during my last birth, the power of my thoughts. It seems to be the lesson God has for me of late. At first, it was incredibly difficult. I would struggle to change my thoughts, fight to stay positive. It's become easier with practice, just like my runs. The more I run, the easier it is to breathe while doing it. The more I work at changing my thoughts, the longer I can do it before melting down.

Now that I've written this, the baby will be up all night, and my students will be off the wall tomorrow. I'll appreciate your prayers. :)

What do you think? Have you realized the power of your thoughts? How are you harnessing that power?


Beth at Five Kids Is A Lot Of Kids said...

Oh, I love this post!

For me, the thought shift came when we discovered Kid #4 was, in reality, Kids #4 AND 5. Twins made me realize how very little control I have (read: none), which allowed me a strange peace. It's only when I grasp at that illusion of control that I freak the heck out.

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