Recently, I've begun to see it in slightly a different light. In anger, I've thought about what happens when a cup overflows at my house. It makes a mess, possibly even a stain. The overflow is not useful. It seems wasted.
I alternate between these views of my cup - my life. Some days I can't believe all the blessings I've been given, and it seems unfair to others. Some days I can't control it; it's messy and I feel ill-prepared to handle it all.
I don't know all, or many, of the answers. This is my struggle to figure out what I can. I'm sharing it mainly for my own therapy, but also in case it might help another. I make no apologies for my emotions, because I'm human. They may be wrong, in fact, I know some of them are wrong. I will deal with them with God, because He is the only One who truly knows my heart, and the One to judge it.
As for the basics, I am a mom to 5, a Southern Baptist pastor's wife, and an English teacher. I live in Las Vegas and have for most of my life. I grew up in a Southern Baptist home; my father is also a pastor.
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