Not quite "Location, Location, Location"

We want to buy a house in the next 6 months or so. I've been pinning things to my "Dream Home" board on pinterest. Some things extravagant, and some not-so-extravagant.

So... Pastor Hubby and I are sitting here looking at potential houses to buy. Suddenly, while clicking through pictures, we see this big laundry room. I gasp loudly and say, "I COULD PUT A GREAT WALL OF LAUNDRY THERE!" He looks at me like I've finally, completely lost it and says slowly, "Nooo... We don't need a "Great Wall of Laundry." He didn't use air quotes or anything, but the quotation marks were in his voice. Trust me, I can hear them. I'm an English teacher. So I excitedly say, "No no no! We DO want one! Look!" and then took him to this post by a woman who understands my life (just take a look at the title of her blog!).

Now, being, well, Not-Me he's not nearly as excited as I am, so he made comments like, "So you just dump things in them?" and "But they get all wrinkly!" I told him he could continue hanging his own clothes (because I long ago stopped doing his laundry) and he hesitantly replied, "Oooookaaaay. I could get behind something like that." as if The Great Wall of Laundry was not The. Best. Idea. Ever.  Whatever. I am now only looking at houses that could possibly fit a Great Wall of Laundry.

So, my house list will look something like this:

1. Location/ School zone (you didn't think I'd take that off the list, did you? I'm a teacher, remember?)
2. Big backyard - is it too much to ask that it already have grass and a covered patio? because this mama has GOT to have a place to throw my kids where they can yell and scream and it be somewhat acceptable and in my line of vision. 
3. Great Wall of Laundry possible

Bedrooms-schmedrooms. My kids love "sleepovers" together. As long as I get my Great Wall of Laundry, I don't care.

So, that's it. A place for them to learn, and learn well. A place for them to run. And a place for the massive amount of clothes they require.

The Math of Parenthood

A lot of people think having 5 kids is exponentially harder than having 1 or 2 kids.

 In case you forgot your high school math, this is my explanation. (remember, I teach English!) 2x5=10 but 2^5, or 2 to the exponent of 5 = 32. People think that adding kids makes life exponentially harder. It really doesn't. The kids help. They play together. The act of adding one more chicken breast, or, let's be honest, one more box of macaroni and cheese, is not that much more difficult than what I was doing before. It does get harder, but not exponentially harder, the way most people think when they see us at the grocery store, with 2 full carts, 10 hands grabbing things, 4 sticky chins, and 7 voices saying or singing different things (2 of those voices are saying things like "Stop," "No," "In a minute," and "Please put your pants back on.")

Now, it might be exponentially louder. That has to be true.

There might be one time, though, that it is true, when having 5 kids is exponentially harder, not just 5 times harder - when a stomach flu hits the family. Unless you have 5 kids (or more), you can't fathom the amount of dread that runs through me when someone starts throwing up. It means at least one week of trash cans by beds, scrubbing floors, washing blankets, taking temperatures, making soup and buying gatorade. Unless it happens during the summer (which is obviously rare) or Christmas Break, it also means taking turns off of work. Of course, the days that you do work are exponentially more difficult themselves.

And, then, of course, there are the other kids, running and playing and not understanding why one of them gets to sit on the couch and pick TV shows all day. They want the smelliest food for lunch, prompting the sick one to vomit more. The younger ones will bump into, or even REACH INTO the barf bucket. Don't forget the vain attempt to keep the other kids from touching, eating after, or generally breathing near the sickie.

And all hell breaks loose if mom and dad get sick, especially {crossing fingers} at the same time. For some families, this is just if mom gets sick. Thankfully, Pastor Hubby is amazing and is great at doing the chores listed above. In fact, last night, my oldest came into my room (and turned on my light! what was she thinking?!) and said, "I threw up." A groan, not unlike those in early childbirth, escaped my body before I could stop it. That lovely man said, "You stay here and take care of her {the nursing baby} and I'll take care of that." I don't think I've ever loved him more. Seriously, I could hear him dry heave (he explained in the morning that it involved scooping) at times while he cleaned the top bunk, the wall, the lower bunk, and the floor, as well as tossing linens into the washer.

There comes a point in marriage that voluntarily scooping vomit is better than any amount of flowers.

There are a few other times that it might also be exponentially harder - going to theme parks, or if you're stupid ambitious enough to try to take them all to a doctor's office. The thing is, you can avoid those things. Or enlist family members to help. Nobody wants your sick and germy kids at their house. If the flu comes, you're just stuck. Stuck in a vomit-filled version of hell that you can't escape until it's made its rounds through the whole clan.

So, there you go. Having 5 kids is not exponentially harder unless you're vomiting or at Disneyland. Or, God forbid, both.

My NYE

My New Year's Eve:
6-9 goof off with friends, eat dinner and rice krispies, play Pastor Hubby's birthday present - Xbox Kinect, watch the ball drop in real time, even though we're on the West Coast
9:09 begin playing Sorry Spin! other couple husband says, "This is going to be a short game with such a small board!"
10:10 I win game!
10:30 friends leave, everyone's smiling
10:35 begin pilling clothes for tomorrow - church and sister's birthday party afterwards
11:00 daughter brings in relatively new doll with severed head, tears in eyes

11:00 - 11:10 Hubby and I attempt to reconnect head, using tweezers, to no avail
11:15 find out it's more expensive to ship doll to doll hospital for repair than to buy new expensive doll



11:25 finish assembling clothes
11:30 leave baby asleep where she's at, rather than risk her waking, but not before taking picture of how adorable she is holding her little head on her hand

11:35 climb into bed,
11:55 drift off to sleep
11:58 baby wakes up to nurse
12:10 move different, more upright baby bed next to my bed for congested baby
12:15 - 12:30 attempt to get baby to sleep in bed
12:30 pull baby in bed with me, nurse again
1:20  almost-2-year old wakes up, go in, find her 1 baby doll, 1 stuffed animal, and binky, tuck her in, say goodnight, say I love you, stumble back to my room, manage to transfer baby to baby bed
3:16 baby wakes up, nurse in bed with me
4:04 - 4:09 baby's snorting and congestion wakes me up, do dreaded nose-sucker, causing baby to scream
4:10 try to calm baby to sleep, bounce, jiggle, cuddle facing in, cuddle facing out, etc, etc
4:30 try nursing to get baby to sleep
4:46 lay baby in baby bed, know it won't work, but maybe it will buy me 10 minutes of sleep, consider giving baby to Pastor Hubby, but I have agreed not to do this on Saturday nights, curse Saturday night
5:10 bring baby back in bed with me, nurse again, hear Pastor Hubby wake, roll over and go back to sleep, consider whether this would be considered justifiable homicide, decided it depends on the jury, decided not to risk it
5:25 hear washing machine turn on, know that means I intended to be up in 1 hour
5:45 finally sleep
8:00ish eyes closed, shush boys and ask them to play quietly in their room, because mommy is very very tired
8:45 able to open eyes and see that I only have 30 minutes to feed and dress all 6 of us for church... give up and eat a rice krispie treat.


{9:00-9:30 write blog post and polish off the rest of the riee krispie treats! Happy New Year!}

Love note

A note I found, between my 5-year old son and my 8-year old daughter:

Him: "[her name]!! is! pretty!!!"
Her: "You are handsome!!! Thank you!"
Him: "Yuk!!!!!!!!!"
Him: "Sorry"
Her: "Help me out of the bucket!!!"
Him: "I wish I cold [could] marry you!!!!!!!!"
Her: "I wish you couldn't"

I had to get a translation for the order of the conversation. 

I immediately confiscated it, wrote the date and put it in the box with photos.
I will cherish it forever.
And, you know, embarrass him as a teenager when his girlfriends come over.